You can never be prepared enough. You might think you are, but trust me when I say it, you never are. To become a mother!! To suddenly be exposed to a zillion responsibilities that you never imagined existed. As if carrying your baby for nine long months and giving birth wasn’t enough already. The periods, stitches, breast feeding, sleepless nights and the biggest of all, the pressure of being constantly judged. Are you doing it right, why is your baby crying, why did you start formula feed, why did you not push yourself harder, isn’t your baby weak, and so on. Leave the world aside; even YOU don’t refrain from constantly judging yourself. Are you holding the baby right, is this how you wipe, is your baby’s tiny tummy full, are you even capable, will you be a good mother and the list is too long. Phew!
Okay, too much said too soon. Let’s take it slow and one by one.
Stage one: The Nine Months
I distinctly remember the day I got to know I am Pregnant. My happy Friday morning turned happier. The feeling is inexplicable. There are few moments that can only be felt to know their importance. Listening to our baby’s heartbeat for the first time was one of them. It was surreal!! And in that moment, I forgot everything else.
The nine months journey is pretty special. Seeing your body transform as the baby grows inside you for instance is remarkable. It is of course accompanied by a lot of discomfort, fatigue, nausea and irritation at times but that seems immaterial when you can feel your baby is having a gala time inside your tummy, kicking you invariably. To look at the bright side, it has its own perks, like getting all the attention and care from family, friends and strangers too. You are now allowed to leave office early (sometimes you can even act sick). You can eat ice cream every day without feeling an inch of guilt (after all it is the baby who is demanding it). You can show-off your tummy to get a seat in the metro. Although, I did encounter situations where people did not feel it was important to give away their seat to a pregnant lady. Ah! Never mind the bad days.
Anyway, let me tell you few things that you need to focus on during these nine months (out of personal experience):
· Choose the right Gynecologist — We had a really bad experience with our first gynecologist who instilled a lot of fear in our minds about things that could possibly go wrong (even though all the reports were good) but thank fully both of us decided to not go to her post the second visit. The doc we then switched to was a blessing. Every time we met her, a sense of positivity prevailed. It is the period when you have a million doubts about the dos, don’ts, especially when it is your first baby and you are so new to everything and the role of a gynecologist becomes so crucial. So, my advice to all the mommies to be is — ‘CHOOSE YOUR DOC RIGHT’.
· Eat Right — I am sure all of you must have heard your elders in the house advising the pregnant women to take care of their diet a lot. Needless to say, your baby gets its diet from what you eat, so you must ensure that you take a balanced and healthy diet. You don’t have to eat twice as much like many people say but eat what you feel like. I used to eat around 10 almonds (soaked overnight) first thing in the morning (as soon as I grabbed a seat in the metro), curd in the afternoon (made it a point to not miss it) and a lot of fruits as meals since I didn’t feel like eating chapati for the initial few months. It is important to include a protein rich diet. Eating out occasionally does not harm provided it is hygienic of course. You must try to eat in smaller portions but after short intervals of time. Carrying extra dabbas of evening snack, fruit, etc for working moms is a must.
· Stay happy — Like I said, the nine months are really special. You must try and stay happy and positive as much as possible. The energies travel to your baby and it is likely to feel the same way you do. In these times of nuclear families, when everyone prefers a single child or max two, you get to live this only once/ twice. So, just enjoy all the pampering because soon the baby is anyway going to take it all away from you. And trust me when I say this, however difficult it gets to carry the baby till the ninth month, you will definitely miss the kicks inside you later.
The suspense that builds up during the nine months is also kind of cute. For example thinking of baby names, which by the way is a whole new chapter in itself, and everything around guessing whether we will welcome a girl or a boy. And I should not even get started on how many expert predictions I got like “Oh it is definitely a boy looking at your size”, “Oh you look so dull, I am sure it is a girl”, “Wow you are glowing, it definitely is a girl”. I mean seriously. You guys can’t even decide whether I am glowing or looking dull. Leave aside the accuracy in predicting the gender. Nevertheless, it was quite fun.
Honestly speaking, the last few weeks are the toughest to pass. The weight of anxiety and of course the baby is literally too much to handle!! It is like the wagging tail of the elephant that has passed. And deep inside you know that the next stage is not going to be easy. It is going to bring with it challenges unseen, unknown and unimagined. After all, “Picture to abhi baki hai mere dost”!!
PS: Watch this space for Stage two! coming soon
